S. J. Perelman's Quotes

Sidney Joseph “S.J.” Perelman (February 1, 1904 – October 17, 1979) was an American humorist and screenwriter. He is best known for his humorous short pieces written over many years for The New Yorker. He also wrote for several other magazines, including Judge, as well as books, scripts, and screenplays. Perelman received an Academy Award for screenwriting in 1956.

S. J. Perelman's selected quotes:

S. J. Perelman about Horse:

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

S. J. Perelman about Love:

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang ...
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S. J. Perelman about Fate:

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

S. J. Perelman about Personality:

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it ...
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S. J. Perelman about God:

I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get ...
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Sidney Joseph “S.J.” Perelman (February 1, 1904 – October 17, 1979) was an American humorist and screenwriter. He is best known for his humorous brusque pieces written greater than many years for The New Yorker. He along with wrote for several additional magazines, including Judge, as competently as books, scripts, and screenplays. Perelman normal an Academy Award for screenwriting in 1956.

All quotes from S. J. Perelman sorted alphabetically:

S. J. Perelman about Fate:

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

S. J. Perelman about God:

I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again.

S. J. Perelman about Horse:

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

S. J. Perelman about Sympathy:

He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it.

S. J. Perelman about Love:

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

S. J. Perelman about Learning:

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

S. J. Perelman about Personality:

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are.